WOW – They say opinions are like assholes… everyone has one! Unfortunately, people have been very free with their opinions about my pending divorce. I kept my separation/divorce quiet for about 3.5 months (I only told a few very close friends). Heck, most people didn’t know about the pending divorce until I moved out in the middle of April.
I spent my life from Jan 1, 2013 up until now on a emotional roller coaster and telling the entire world about the end of my marriage just wasn’t top on my list of things to do. 1st and foremost was making sure my family (children .. young and old) were OK and of course making sure that I was OK.
So I’ve gathered a few nuggets of advice, questions and comments that I thought would be fun to share. These comments are funny now but you best believe that when these comments were said to me — some of them brought me to tears, some made me angry and some had me really questioning a few friendships.
So here are 6 Things that you shouldn’t say to me as I navigate through this Divorce.
1. You should have tried to keep it together for the kids! – Really now? Can you please tell me when it is best to keep a child in the same house with 2 parents who are married but miserable? While I know that divorce affects children and is hard on the entire family… so is living in a home that is filled with anger, silence, distance and snide remarks. 1 of the reasons I actually got divorced was FOR my children. What type of example am I setting for them if I allow myself to stay in a marriage that is depressing me, not fulfilling me and turning me into a person that I am not?
2. You know, God doesn’t like Divorce and you HAVE to make it work, after-all, Your Vow said “Til Death Do Your Part”. Well, thank you for that lil’ tid-bit of information. Have you been in my house for the past 17 years? Who are you to tell me what God likes? Who made you the keeper of my salvation? WOW, I could go on and on with this one but my short and sweet answer to the few people that approached me with this mess was “My God wants me to be happy”.
3. WOW, I can’t believe you are giving up all of that Money and Stuff! This one here really lets me know that some people really don’t know me. Thank you for thinking that I am some type of Sugar Baby (looking for a Sugar Daddy). You do know that I am the one that purchases jeans from Target, clips coupons around the clock and brags about cooking an entire dinner for less than $3.00? Stuff is just stuff! My happiness is priceless.
4. Why Didn’t You Try Harder? (blank stare). The fact that we were married for over 15 years & together for over 18 years and we are just now separating should give you a lil’ hint that we tried.
5. Are you sure you want to get a divorce? No, I just woke up one day and thought it would be fun to go through all of this hell for nothing. Oh, on top of going thu’ hell… I also thought, what better to do with my money than to pay a lawyer $250.00 an hour to WALK me through this hell! Uhmmmm yeah, I am sure.
6. I don’t believe in Divorce. Ok, good. Don’t get one!